It’s Not you, It’s Me!

Short and sweet this week. I have been very slack on the old blog a roo lately, I know. But having a shower at the moment is a feat so bear with me.
So in a nutshell… I’m wrecked. Well we are wrecked. It’s been so busy since Christmas with some massive changes for the whole family and it’s only just now I have realised we really, really need to now pump the brakes a bit. ( as much as you can with 3 kids… good one Jess)
We had our first family camping experience, then Byron spent 2 weeks in Melbourne with his other dad while we moved house and enrolled in new schools and kindys ( which this week we discovered after enrolling it will now open mid year….MID YEAR!) and everything that goes with that.
I was so so stressed and worried about all the massive changes with the kids and especially Byron, since he was arriving to a new home and starting a brand new school the very next day.
I had all these grand ideas that I would face time him everyday to show him what his new room looked like and school etc etc. But of course when you move house that little annoying thing that you take for granted and realise how heavy you depend on it was not connected. God dam internet !!
So it didn’t happen and my stress levels on how he would cope shot through the roof!
SLXLM

 
To my surprise, once he arrived at home he was comfortable and really just wanted to hang out with us as a family and get into school.
The next day he got into his uniform, packed his bag and told us he didn’t even need us to walk him in any more.
Wtf!!
I remember my dad telling me what it was like when I said to him not to walk me into school any more.. and yep is sucked.
B have me the week to walk him in but come Monday the following week I had to be a brave mum and let him do it himself.
So it wasn’t him it was me. He was and is fine. I had completely created this stress that he would not be able to cope and in fact it was me. I stressed so much I gave myself mini anxiety attacks. I know I am not the only mother out there that does this. It the inherit gift that is given once that little bundle is placed in your arms and it gives a new meaning to the ideology of stress. A whole new level of it that never ever ever ends!
He on the other hand was all “I’m fine mum, off you go and don’t embarrass me”.
4 weeks on and I’m loving not having to get out of a car with the 2 girls. Makes like so much easier but I’m still emotional watching my little man who used to crack under pressure quickly or a change in daily life just totally ace it!
In fact he has reminded me how tough kids can be and that I as mum need to harden up. And at the rate he is going I better do it soon. I’m learning a lot of new things lately about my child  and the scariest realisation is that I need to accept that sometimes it’s me with the issue and not him.
And I have to go through this again at least 2 more times! Lord give me strength!
No actually lord give me wine….and a babysitter

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