Ok, so I’m only writing this because I’m in that kind of mood.
Well I’ll be honest I am usually in this type of mood … the type of mood that’s slightly cynical and sarcastic. I reflect on things sometimes and think…. WTAF! Then I make mental notes and promises to myself that I will not do that or say that to someone else.
Today’s topic is.,. The shit people say when you are pregnant or have just announced, or are about to give birth.
I’m sure even 4th time round I still haven’t heard it all. But when you reflect on it, and yes, so much of it is meant to be nice or well meaning.. even the social norm. When you truly reflect on it, you think… what the actual fuck. Why the hell did you think.. yep.. I’ll open my mouth and say that.
Here goes ( I’m sure you have heard many of these yourself, this is a list of stuff that stuck or makes me shake my head still. I have also sourced a bunch of comments sent in by some friends who have received some baffling and unsolicited comments or statements themselves).
And I will note, of course not all of this is meant to sound bad. It’s just kinda funny now. Also as I said.. I’m on my 4th… people are well over us having babies I’m sure. You are greeted more with a baffled look than an excited one 😂😜
• Are you sure? ( that your pregnant… )
• The results may be wrong
• oh shit..
.• Did you want it?
• Was it an accident?
• Are you going to have more ( literally after you have just announced you are pregnant)
.• Do you want a boy or girl? ( that one always baffles me. I don’t know why it’s just in this day and age I don’t know if it’s really appropriate to Ask anymore)
• How did that happen? ( you are kidding right? RIGHT??)
•Oh you must be close!
•Can I touch it?!
•Sorry is it ok if I touch your belly? (Whilst already rubbing it)
•You shouldn’t be driving
•You shouldn’t be carrying that
•You shouldn’t be drinking that coffee
•You shouldn’t be riding your bike
•You shouldn’t have walked that far
•3rd child – have you worked out how it happens by now
•You need a tv in your room
• Are you sure there’s only one in there?
• You must be having twins! ( yes…scans these days are so basic. So glad you made me see the light!)
• Oooh yeah I can see that fluid ( wow.. super man!)
• Oh you’re really swollen
•Put your feet up
•You shouldn’t be working
•Let the pregnant lady eat first
• Don’t lift your arms… it could make the chord wrap around the baby and choke it. ( WTAF?)
• You need to take all the drugs
• Make sure you do it all natural… that’s a real birth
• A cesarean isn’t really giving birth..
• I hope it’s black this time.! That’s my favourite colour skin! ( this one was announced by Byron in the waiting room at a scan. Everyone in the room were in fits of giggles while I went bright red and immediately vacated the area with him. It was beautiful… it was just very loud.)
• Yep, you have ages to go still. ( literally the day before I gave birth)
• Oh I would love for it to be a boy…
• Oh I hope it’s a girl…
• Are you keeping your placenta? ( interesting question from lady behind you at the supermarket…)
• Oh the other children will help with everything. That’s why you have more than one.
And the absolute NO NO of all time… that seems to happen so often after a couple give birth….
The announcement of the arrival or congratulations on social media BEFORE the actual parents have done it.
This is a go straight to jail move. No going back from this one. Doesn’t matter if your are family or close friends. Biggest dick move of the century no matter how you spin it.
There is nothing wrong with talking to a pregnant woman about her up coming birth and child, so don’t get me wrong. It’s the unsolicited advice, statements and assumptions that can end up freaking her out and more so, making you look like a bit of a…butthead.
If you can help yourself, maybe just stick with some good old conversation about the weather. Even show her the app you have on your phone. Because no one else probably has that to check themselves. 😜😜
This post is dedicated to some of my gal pals who understand these sentiments oh to well. Thanks my loves, you guys are the best
The Ummum xxx